Fitting in or Belong?

When I think about fitting in, I remember: I need to fit in. I need to be like my peers. I need to do all the things to find a place in my tribe.

Coming to belonging, well I personally struggled a lot with it. I never felt like I really belong somewhere. I always saw myself alienated from the rest.

Then with life experiences, I realize belonging doesn’t happen externally. Belonging is something so deep inside us. It’s someone’s quest to search for meaning within ourselves.

Coming back to fitting in, it came with forces from cultural and environmental pressure. You see everyone around you doing the same thing and you tell yourself: If everyone is doing this, I gotta do it. I must be like them. Or otherwise I won’t fit in.

There, we probably confuse between fitting in and belonging. We think: If I do this, I got to fit in and belong somewhere. I am going to fulfill my belonging issues.

Then later when life hits you with scenarios and consequences, you reflect: What is happening? What am I doing? Do I really wanna be like them? Do I really need to meet their expectations? What if I just be myself? What if I just be real, authentic, genuine and honest? How would the scenario shift?

I think fitting in is a concept/myth we picked along the way. It got even stronger when you don’t have the basic foundation for self-love, self-reassurance and self-respect.

Looking back at belonging, I like to refer to our humanity as a whole. We humans have been created and made in this earth hotel and can leave any day with or without a reason. What does this tell us? Do we really belong here? Do we really need to prove ourselves to others? Do we really need to stress about what others think of us? If we are going to leave any day, any month, any year and any moment, then where do we really belong? Where is our real, permanent and future place?