If Not a People Pleaser, Then What?

When you leave a habit, there is this void and gap appear in your mental and emotional worlds. You feel empty, lost and not sure.

For me personally, the habit I left is people pleasing. Since I started working with it, many things in my life shifted. There is quite a big distance between me and other people. I am more picky when interacting with people. I remember my energy, capacity and limit. I remind myself all the time: You are human. You also are important. It is not just others but you also matter.

Other times, the old thought of people pleasing wants to cover me by saying: See what you have done. You are not worth it. That’s why no body wants to connect with you. It is because of you. You are the reason. If you continued pleasing people, these results would never happen.

I observe this pattern patiently and say: It is ok. People are people. No matter what I do, it doesn’t matter. I am dead and they are dead. So why making them the centre of attention? If our creator, Allah, is the One, why focus on other people? If Allah feeds me, looks after me, sees me, heals me and is with me all the time, why panic and worry about others? Relax. Stay grounded. Feel the ground under you. Sense the temperature of the air you breath. Look at the object in front of you. Focus on the sounds you hear.

Now you come out of your fake illusion to the present moment.