Adjust Your Feminine Perspective
This time zone is so misleading. You find both men and women are almost equal. Both are working. Both are providing for their families. Both are holding full time jobs. Both pursue career and strive to achieve monetary and status success.
Well for me personally as a woman, I was so in this thinking: I am the controller. I should lead life. He should listen to me. I should advise him and fix his behavior. I should take the lead. I must initiate. And on and on.
With that thinking, there was so much unnecessary pressure and heaviness on one person. I faced so much hardships like being alone with my kids in the UK, taking decisions that affected my safety and my kids’ safety as well. And all this was taking away my ability to live life to the fullest.
With experience, trial and error process and reflection in Quran, I decided to let go of what I call: Feminine Control. I could always lower the control bar and let my husband take the lead. I could always look up to him for financial, mental and emotional support and relief.
When I started doing this, things and situations shifted:
I am taking on less pressure and tension.
My anxiety levels dropped significantly
The tension and conflict in my marriage also reduced
With all these shifts, now I remember this recite from the Holy Book of Quran: (… Upon the wealth according to his capability and upon the poor according to his capability…) in Surat Al Baqara.
Everyone has his capacity to provide and give. If you have a high expectations, your spouse can’t reach that level and you want to adjust and live peacefully, then you may consider lowering your expectations bar to match the capability level of your husband.