What is emotional pain?

We go through emotional pain and suffering. But what is it really? How it happens? In what form you see it? How it starts? What is the background and context behind it?

Well it is good to start from the roots rather than looking at the surface. The emotional pain normally starts from childhood around 5 to 9 years of age. Each one of us interprets it differently according to our worldviews and individual perspectives.

Let us say you faced a childhood situation when you did a mistake, you were shamed, guilted and heavily criticized. You took that seriously and personally. You placed the blame on you. You couldn’t process it because you didn’t have the sufficient knowledge and information. So you judged and blamed yourself. Then you started to close off. You protected yourself. You formed the belief that if you expose yourself, dare and express, that would create unnecessary pain (the pain you felt from childhood).

After you reflect on the roots of your emotional pain, second is observe your current approach towards your emotional pain. What you do towards it? How do you look at it? What is your perception about it? Do you escape and avoid it or do you process and cope with it? This really gives you ownership towards your beliefs and actions. You are not a victim. Your perception is yours. You only get to form your individual perspectives and not anyone else.

Third is you finding a stand here. What you stand for? Where is your footing? Where is your centre? Normally when you become aware of your emotional wounds, how they started and your approach towards them, you would eventually find a mental space and clarity. It becomes visible for you the option you choose to take. Not under the influence of the environment or people but because it comes from genuine care and wholehearted purpose and motivation.

Now you may wonder: It is just too painful to go through and face the emotional pain. Wouldn’t it be better if we just escape it, hide it, ignore it and just cover it up? This could work for you in the short term. But in the long run, it just gets escalated and worse. It builds up internally with or without your awareness. It affects your mental health wellbeing. And most importantly, you, inside your heart and soul, know the truth (whatever it is for you).

So use your vulnerability to your best advantage. Find out the support and resources you need to process your emotional pain. Spend time reflecting and contemplating. whether alone or with people you are comfortable with. And don’t worry about the pain itself. Whether your body is shaking, your breathing is speeding up or your mental focus is getting blurry. It is ok. This is normal. Remember your humanness, weakness and vulnerability. Give yourself the space and time you need. There is no rush, judge or blame here. The personal development process deserves all the time it needs to process whatever it is you are going through in life.