Curiosity When Parenting
When parenting, I notice curiosity is the best tool to get to know your child and resolve conflicts and struggles.
For example, when walking in the hospital parking with my 4 year old son, if I am rigid and strict with him, we end up struggling, tensed and upset at each other.
But when I use curiosity, I look straight into his eyes and ask: What is it? What do you want to see? Where you want to go? What caught your attention?
Then I realize his mind and heart are in a story where he is analysing, questioning, justifying and seeking to use his creativity.
Let me give you an example to demonstrate my point:
Earlier when we started walking around the hospital parking, I used to be so cautious of cars crossing and I used to make sure he walks on the foot path only.
Then I noticed his interest and curiosity to discover and explore walking on different parts of the parking area.
When I started being curious about his interest, I observed the following behaviours he did:
Him comparing the big stones and small stones justifying that the big stones are for people to sit in case there isn’t any chairs.
Him observing the ambulance cars and the whole process of either departing or onboarding the patients.
Him experimenting with his walking and trying to jump when walking down the slope.
His desire and love for sports cars and police cars
His interest to chat and exchange stories from the past and what is happening now.
This new bonus I added to my parenting strengthened my bond with my son. Now when walking, you would find us talking, laughing and teasing each other as if we are same age.
Lastly, it is not easy to use curiosity when parenting especially if it had been a long time using the strict and rigid parenting style. But remember its never too late to have a conversation with your kid. It is never too late to open up just a little. It is never too late to ask: Hey what’s up? How was your day? What is it you like? Mmm… That’s interesting.