Fear of Rejection

This is a type of fear many people have. The fear of being rejected. The fear of not being accepted in the society. The fear of not fitting in. The fear of not getting a place in the tribe or community.

Of course, such kind of fear doesn’t start randomly. There is always a foundation that starts from childhood. How were you contained. What kind of emotional attachments you had in that age. What emotional cues you received in your home environment. Were you mentally and emotionally understood and heard as a child. Answering these questions can give you a basic start to understand the origin of your fear of rejection.

For me personally, I associate my fear of rejection with the need to belong, fit in, connect and have a place in wherever space I exist.

After going through several life events and experiences, I notice this fear to be manipulative. It hides your truth. It numbs your authentic voice. It also fakes your behaviors and actions.

To learn to face and confront this fear, I suggest to start a project or business of your interest and interact with the world. I know several internal comments will appear in your mind like: What are you doing. They will laugh at you. This is not something everyone is doing. This is nonsense. This doesn’t make any sense. You will make a fool of yourself. And on and on the internal critic goes on.

It’s ok when you observe your internal dialogue to be negative. What matters is what you do when you see it. Taking continuous action with the fear inside you is key. The more action you take, the less grib fear has over you.

Another point to keep in mind during this phase is not to personalize things, people, situations and outcomes. It is not about you. It never was. And it never will be. It is just people projections of their own worldviews. If you hear a person telling you: Your work doesn’t relate to my current life situation. Or: It doesn’t resonate with my nature and taste. Or: Your work has flaws and mistakes. It is ok. Learn to differentiate between the constructive feedback and the useless one.

Another tip I remember also is you really need to step out of your own way. It is always you on the way when you face any type of fears. We humans have this part in our brains that is responsible for our safety and security. It is called the amygdala. If you are not aware, this part can control your life and make you live in a small tight box.

But if you just accept the fact it is there and it is you who takes the full responsibility and power to face it and confront it, that would make a huge difference. I like to remember this metaphor an entrepreneur uses: Keep your fear in the back seat and you take charge of the driver seat. You take full responsibility of your life and let your fear sit behind in the back seat and watch you drive.

All the best working with your fear of rejection.