Going Against the Crowd

I decided to go against the crowd from 2020 when I left my PhD program.

It was a wake up call for me. I decided to never follow what others are doing blindly just to fit in or belong somewhere.

Belonging to me before used to be: I need to do this. I need to prove myself. I need to approach, be nice and polite so I be accepted in the society. I need, I need, I need.

Later after 30 years of my life, my perspective towards to belonging shifted to: I don’t belong to people. I don’t need to prove myself to meet others’ expectations. I can just be myself in the moment. Its ok if people reject me. I know myself better than anyone else. Belonging to me is something internal. Something deeper. Something between me and Allah. Something not questionable and no doubt in it. Something so solid, centered and unlimited.

With that shift in perspective, I go on with my life, come to work, return home to my kids, balance between work and life and smoothly complete my daily activities.

It is not always that easy. The old perspective sometimes hunts on me by saying: See what have you done. No body wants you. No one interested in your ideas. No one wants you to be around.

I just watch that old perspective without attaching myself to it. Then I refer to Quran, the only truth there is. It is a continuous life long journey of going back and forth.