How to Exist in a Community You Don’t Fit?

This is something I have been taking in so personally and seriously. I remember telling myself: I have to fit in. I have to do all that it takes to belong in this tribe. I shouldn’t deviate. I shouldn’t be different. Even if it goes against my nature, I have to be like everyone. So that I have a place here and belong.

With experience and so much struggles, I realized this doesn’t work in the long run. You are just fooling yourself. This I call it self betrayal. This is when you lie to yourself by actually believing that when people like you, you will be worthy and enough. And this is never true, never was and it never will be .

When you discover your true self, who you are, your preferences, your likes and dislikes and what you truly want to do in your life, things and people in your surrounding change and shift.

People don’t understand you anymore. People in your community look at you with those confused eyes and are not sure how to make sense of you.

A question you may ask here is: How could you continue to function in such a community when you are not like them, when your goals are different, when your priorities changed and you are no longer taking similar journeys?

Well for me personally, I approach this with compassion and whole heartedness. I stopped judging myself and others. My inner critic became less active and hyper. I also practice self-acceptance a lot. I accept myself as I am and appreciate all those milestones I went through and the mistakes I did and learned from.

In other circumstances, I tend to choose the kind of events to participate. The type of gatherings. The routines and activities that appeal to me. I also incorporate my preferences in my daily activities so that I align my daily schedule with the things I personally like and enjoy.

I hope this piece of writing could answer this tricky question: How to exist in a community you don’t fit?