Moment of Sadness and Sorrow

When I am on my way to work, the situation of my 3 year old son’s scoliosis and kyphosis journey crosses my mind. When that happens, I start tearing and my throat tightens.

I feel sorry for him and sad. How come such a very young age child faces a life threatening disease. How could he understand what is happening and all the painful moments he will need to go through in the hospital and home.

In such moments, I often feel powerless and weak. I can’t help it but cry it out. Just being vulnerable and accept the situation as it is with full of our humanity and nature.

But then I remember the strength, courage and patience that come along with this experience. When you cry when facing a difficult experience, you turn out the other side stronger and wiser.

It is not about knowing it all or pride or ego. But it is reflecting on this experience by using the divine lens. What is in this for me? Shall I approach Allah, pray and ask or shall I complain, judge and blame? Could this be a test for our patience, faith and belief? If me, a weak and powerless human being, feel sorry and sad facing this experience, what would Allah’s words be like in this situation?

Doing this reflective process in my mind calms me and soothes my emotions. The pain, sadness and grief are still there but they are somehow accompanied, contained, held and guided.