Speaking Up for Yourself
There is this early conditioning we learned which is: Keep quiet. Do what you are being told to do. Follow along and you will be safe. Accommodate, please and make people happy.
This conditioning could have served you well as a child. But as you grow up and face different experiences in life, you realize this doesn’t work well anymore. In fact, it serves against you.
Some scenarios in life where keeping quiet could cause you troubles, and unhappiness are:
You are in the shop shopping, and you decide to keep quiet and accept the discounted price.
You interact with your friend who keeps stepping into your privacy and you keep quiet to please your friend.
People judge you and criticize your behavior and you numb your voice thinking it is your responsibility to maintain the peace in the environment.
Your spouse controls your budget and spending, and you think you need to follow long and make him/her happy.
You are at work, overloaded with tasks and not compensated for your extra efforts and overtime. And you keep quiet fearing to upset your boss and lose your job.
Many scenarios like these you can think of.
Coming to speaking up for yourself, we are talking about your genuine truth and authenticity. What is your individual and separate truth? Who is the real you? Who is the person hiding behind your conditioning mask? If people didn’t exist or if you were alone in this moment, how would you behave? If you are not scared of losing people in your life, how would you express yourself honestly? If you are not cautious of other people thoughts and feelings, how would you talk and behave?
This is not really easy for someone who numbed his/her voice for a long time. But it is worth processing it with these reflective questions in paper and finding out what is really happening in your mind.
At the end, don’t accept whatever you learned. Challenge it. Question it. Ask tough questions. Get curious again about your thoughts and beliefs. And accept to unlearn and learn again for the maximum benefit for yourself and the humanity.