You Just Didn’t Know

Whenever blaming thoughts cross my mind like: How fool you were? How you mingled up with the environment and lost your sense of self? How you went along with the surrounding and didn’t have your own solid ground?

I tell myself: It is ok. At that time I did the best I could with the knowledge I had. Now I do better with unlearning and learning again.

I am not really used to being compassionate towards myself. There is always something. Some fault. Something to fix. Something to mold. Something to shape and something to perfect.

Interestingly there is this question my therapist asked me during our last session when she said: If the same life events and circumstances you went through, another person is facing them, what would you tell that person?

At that very moment, I paused, stayed quite and replied: I would say sorry you had to go through all those hardships. No words can sooth the pain you feel now. But I am sorry. I don’t know what else to say.

I felt so bad when picturing my life events another person experiencing it. I felt more the emotional pain also.

I guess that was an indirect way to be compassionate towards myself.