Giving up other people approval

This is something I was addicted to long time ago until my mid thirties.

I was addicted to seeking other people approval of me and my worthiness. I was a workaholic trying to prove myself so that my superiers notice my hard work and appreciate it. I used to work so hard in school. So that my mom notices my hard effort and approves of me.

When I saw this pattern, wrote it down and started working with it piece by piece, I saw changes in my social circle. People (friends and colleagues) whom I used to hang out with stopped connecting with me. Many people distanced from me. I felt even more alone and lonely.

I felt like I don’t know myself anymore. Seeking other people approval and validation was a big part of my identity. Without it, I didn’t know what to do. I was lost and had no meaning.

As usual, I sank deeper in the pages of Quran to see what Allah says about this. After reading and reflecting, I realize that seeking other people approval is an addiction that majority of people have long time ago. But then Allah says in Surat Al Tawba, Aya 13: “……..Do you fear them? Surely, Allah has better rights that you fear him if you are believers”. And in another Ayat 34 to 36 in Surat Abasa where Allah says: “The Day on which a man will flee from his brother, and his mother and his father and his spouse and his sons”.

These recites indicate the truth behind the illusion of seeking other people approval. End of the day we all are dead. So what is the point behind this dilemma?